"I am a block of wood" (And another big change)

One of my favorite movies (despite the cheesiness) is Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. There's a lot of really great lessons in it. One of the characters, Mahoney, feels stuck.  Her boss, and mentor, gives her what he calls, a congreve cube. Mahoney insists it is just a block of wood.  Her boss asks her what she thinks she could do with it. "I'm sure I could think of a million things to do with a block of wood," she says. "Of course there are a million things you could do with a block of wood, Mahoney, but what do you think would happen, if someone, just once, believed in it."

Of course this confused me the first time I watched it, and Mahoney too, until the end of the movie. Her friend, the "mutant" (accountant) is a disbeliever of magic through the whole movie until right at the end. He says, "Now...I believe that you can make it be anything that you want. It's you. You...are a block of wood."

She then proceeds to make all sorts of magic happen. For the first time, I am seriously considering grad school. I didn't think I was cut out for it. How could I be? But just two days ago, one of my professors, whom I greatly admire told me that I would do very well. He said he would write me a letter of recommendation, and he doesn't do that for anyone. Today he told me that he knows I would do so well, that if I wanted to stay here for grad school, he would fight for me to have a tuition waiver AND a paid assistantship. I am a block of wood. Someone believes in me, and I actually feel like maybe I could do some really great things. "What Mahoney needed was the opportunity to prove to herself that she was something more than she believed."
And that's what I need.

Big changes

Big: I got a new job
Bigger: I'm not getting married to Jarom


I will now be working for a man named Raymond Grant (google him. He's legit.) I will be doing a little marketing, a little social media management, and a little event planning. More pay. Looks better on a resume. I'll miss my co-workers.

Jarom has courageously revealed to me some major character flaws and it is in my best interest not to marry him.  anger management issues, compulsive liar, pornography addict. We're still friends. Things are weird. And I hate that I can't make myself hate him for it.

UPDATE: I can now hate him for it. I have found out that he cheated on me. What a great man he is.

TMI

I've never been to a lady doctor before, and I used to be terrified of going to the gynecologist. Today I say: bring it on.

Today is the one day out of every month that it is absolutely necessary for me to stay home and I can't.  I have severe cramps. They are worse than most women have them. Many of my girlfriends don't even have cramps. Ever. Which is a complete injustice by the way.  Mine are so bad that they interfere with my life and cause me to be unable to function, only today I am unable to stay home and lay in bed until it's over. So I'm at work. Where I cannot lay down and I must keep a smile on my face to fool everyone around me. Didn't I take something for it? Of course I did. I took four ibuprofen. It didn't help.

Cramps like these make me want to do one of two things: either punch everyone I see in the face, or curl up on the floor in the fetal position and cry.  I feel like I have the right to act like a total bitch on days like this. Oh, and I swear a lot.

I'm getting married in about eight months. Before that time I will have to visit a gynecologist and get a birth control prescription. I say, if it will help my cramps, why wait? It's for me and for the safety of everyone around me.